whatever

How ironic that parsimony is defined as finding the simplest explanation for things. But when we try to apply it in our own lives, it seems that it is not as easy as it appears to be. How complicated it is to live a simple life!

The harder you try to simplify things, the more complex it seems to become. I haven’t the faintest idea why this happens, but it does. It’s like the world conspires to make you treasure every little detail of your life that you tend to miss out on the bigger things. And no matter how many times you try to step back just to see the bigger picture, sometimes, it still doesn’t make sense. It’s like living an abstract piece of art, that no matter how hard you try to figure out what to make of it, it just wouldn’t pop out.

But still, I fond it worthwhile to strive to live a simple life. Nobody wants things complicated. Maybe, parsimony is really the best there is.

Funny how time catches up on you

No matter how hard you run away from it

Though at times it seems the world is spinning

So excruciatingly slow;

And yet when you wish for it to stand still

It flies away from your grasp with just a momentary flicker of light

So elusive to catch, so enticing to keep

But it never waits for you to wake up from your sleep.

And no matter what I do, and wherever I may go

It will always be running its own way

Just as it has always been so.

When it hits you, it really comes hard and strong. You will never see it coming and when you do, you’re taken off guard because you have let your defenses down. The mighty and sturdy fence built for several years is slowly and surely broken down, piece by piece, leaving you defenseless and irrational. And no matter how you try to maintain calm and peace within, the turmoil just gets stronger and you are pressured to give in. In fact, the very thing that keeps you together is the realization that you are already fallen apart.

I am particularly struck by this Sunday’s sermon. Before going to mass on a Sunday afternoon, I’ve already read a reflection on today’s readings. The theme for reflection was "betrayal" and the sermon focused on "frustrations" or "disappointments."  Fr. Cesar went on to explain the irony that after the people celebrated Christ’s coming, they were the very same people that put him to death. And he said that according to scholars, the reactions of these people could probably be because of their frustrations — they never expected the Messiah to be so lowly and not the typical savior they have pictured in their minds.

Expectations really bring on a lot of frustrations to everyday living. And yet, it can’t be helped. As they say, we can only appreciate and experience happiness when we have been down and out with sorrow. Even if you expect for the worst, some twist of fate could still lead to the unexpected — that what you thought was the worst cannot even remotely compare to how bad things have become.

And although we cannot help but expect, we are sure to be filled with more disappointments. Life will never be worthwhile if it were only full of happy moments, and glory will never be as sweet without defeat.

Well..well. March is usually a time for happy endings — like graduation — which is also a start of great beginnings. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I really didn’t want to go and attend the ceremonies because I didn’t want to make a big fuss out of it. After all, even if I didn’t attend the event, I know for a fact that I will eventually get my diploma and the other documents.

But for some people, it is a monumental event. Perhaps because it signifies the end of all the sleepless hours, cramming for requirements and all academic pressures. And yet, it is also frightening, because it means that you have to have the courage to face a new world of challenges that may be totally unknown to you — the so-called "real world." It’s just so "adult."

So to the graduates of batch 2007, especially to UST Engineering’s Centennial batch, kudos and congratulations!

For the love month, let us visit one of the popular love theories by Sternberg. He proposed that there are three kinds of love that evolve from these primary factors: passion, intimacy and commitment.   He further explains that there is a direct relationship/proportion between intimacy and length of relationship: that is, you get more intimate with each other as you spend more time together in the relationship.  The same is true with commitment.  As the relationship progresses over time, it is expected that you become more commited to each other as well.  On the other hand, passion, is inversely proportinal to length of relationship.  The longer you get together, the less passionate you become with each other.

And so, passionate or romantic love, is the combination of intimacy and passion.  It is usually aroused by someone you are attracted to.  It can bring about a mixture of emotions and may cause you to experience an intense longing for union with the beloved.  You become very much absorbed with each other that makes you lose yourself completely that when passion dies out, it will be very difficult to get back on track.

Next we have companionate love–the love that is brought about by commitment and intimacy.  It is generally characterized by a deep affectionate attachment to another person.  It is awakened by people whose lives are alrady deeply intertwined with ours that we experience an overlapping of selves.  While this seems ideal, the lack of passion makes it rather boring.

Lastly, there is consummate love.  It is the union of all three — passion, intimacy and commitment.  The question is, how on earth will we experience this?

thanks to mam jopay and my notes on her social psy class in college.

Too many choices are as good as having none. Unfortunately, there is nothing in this world that does not provide us with options. There is no such thing as "having no choice." Every single thing has an anti-thing. Black or white, do or die. We are not left with what is. We are always caught in situations that demand a decision.

Sadly, this has always been difficult. Oftentimes, we wonder what we are to do with our very lives. Yet, most of us die without even finding out the answer, or even if we do, fate teases us and changes the question. That no matter what we do, we will never be satisfied. Knowing that there is no guarantee that our choice is the best choice, we fancy ourselves in doubt.."what if..?"

Ah..choices people make. Free will indeed is the most wonderful gift! And making the most out of it is probably the very worth of living this life.

It’s been some time since I last posted anything to this blog. Have I run out of ideas? I just took the time to think about things that are on a more personal level than usual and I’m not exactly excited about sharing more intimate details about myself.

Then there’s the seemingly unending amount of things to do and I got sick with the fast growing (and spreading) acute viral infection. Luckily the year’s about to end and another cycle shall soon begin.

Let us all brace ourselves for whatever is in store in the last few days of 2006 and prepare for what lies beyond..in 2007.

It proves to be a difficult task to make other people happy. Dang! It’s even damn harder to figure out what will make me happy! I suppose this is because each of us yearn for perfection, despite the fact that there is no such thing. Sometimes, there are things that we want that we never get to have. And sometimes, the things we once thought we wanted, doesn’t seem to be so great after all that we wish we didn’t get to have them. Likewise, there are things that we used to have before that we may have taken for granted and in the process, lost them, that we suddenly miss and want to have back so desperately.

The bottomline is that we never seem to be content with whatever is given us. And we always look for something better, that nothing is ever good enough. But is it really so bad that we’d always rather have the better deal? And who’s to say which is better in the first place? I am only human, and I have stopped trying to find happiness and just be happy. But the thing is, when you think too much, you lose the essence of everything. There are times when we should just let things be and enjoy the moment, stop and breathe for a minute, and lose it all. Maybe if we all stop trying, the universe will  conspire to make the best things happen.

I am not against reconciling with a former lover or about giving second chances.  I am all for forgiveness and giving another try. But my point is, sometimes, it’s really not worth it.

I have friends who would jump at the opportunity to be with their greatest regret, that someone who got away, than take a blind chance on somebody new.  But I suppose taking a chance on either has a fairly relative equal amount of risk.  When you entertain thoughts about a past relationship, you base your decision strongly on the events and feelings associated with whatever it was that you had before.  But hasn’t it occured to you that what you have left are just flashes of memories and emotions you may never get to have again? Likewise, it is highly likely that what makes a former flame so attractive is because of who he/she was way back when you had "the good old days" so to speak. And you fail to see that the same good ol’ days are bygones and seem to be so far away from today.  It is in this regard that whoever this new person is, has an equal footing with the old one. What you fail to see is that the old one has changed — just as you have changed.

And so in the name of taking chances, I find it unfair to compare the present from ther past.  Just because you have established something with the person from yesterday, does not guarantee that it will make it easier for you to accurately predict what will happen to both of you in the future. And in the same reason, just because you know so little of the person you have today, you should take it against him/her in favor of the one from your past.

Kindling a flame is never easy, rekindling makes it doubly difficult.  For all its worth, just make sure you can take the heat.