whatever

For the love month, let us visit one of the popular love theories by Sternberg. He proposed that there are three kinds of love that evolve from these primary factors: passion, intimacy and commitment.   He further explains that there is a direct relationship/proportion between intimacy and length of relationship: that is, you get more intimate with each other as you spend more time together in the relationship.  The same is true with commitment.  As the relationship progresses over time, it is expected that you become more commited to each other as well.  On the other hand, passion, is inversely proportinal to length of relationship.  The longer you get together, the less passionate you become with each other.

And so, passionate or romantic love, is the combination of intimacy and passion.  It is usually aroused by someone you are attracted to.  It can bring about a mixture of emotions and may cause you to experience an intense longing for union with the beloved.  You become very much absorbed with each other that makes you lose yourself completely that when passion dies out, it will be very difficult to get back on track.

Next we have companionate love–the love that is brought about by commitment and intimacy.  It is generally characterized by a deep affectionate attachment to another person.  It is awakened by people whose lives are alrady deeply intertwined with ours that we experience an overlapping of selves.  While this seems ideal, the lack of passion makes it rather boring.

Lastly, there is consummate love.  It is the union of all three — passion, intimacy and commitment.  The question is, how on earth will we experience this?

thanks to mam jopay and my notes on her social psy class in college.