whatever

This song (Closure) by Gerald Levert is really great because not many songs speak of the same sentiment. Every chapter that starts need to end. And the irony is that all endings signal a beginning.

And as I closed a chapter in my life..I hope a new one unfolds soon. And this time, I pray for a happy ending — may not be a fairy tale, but I hope it’s going to be happy.

• i have always wanted to do the right things..i do not strive to be perfect but i want to BE right..
• it doesn’t necessarily mean my superego has ruled over me because what is right is relative to whatever is right for me..
• but sometimes..no. most of the time, i suppose, it is just plain pride and vainglory that directs what is right for me..
• that at times, i couldn’t help but think if the best thing is really to opt for the right thing..
• because what is right may not always make you feel better, and what will make you happy may not always be right..
• but then again, will i be able to feel so much better and really happy if i know deep inside that what i’ve done is not right?
• so ultimately, the question still remains: must things always be right so i can be happy? or will i be happy despite the fact that things aren’t quite right?

What does it take to make someone love you? If I knew the answer then I wouldn’t be so lonely and miserable now, wouldn’t I? =) I’m half-kidding!

I suppose this is the source of all of a lover’s miseries. Why can’t the object of my affection just love me, no matter how much I love him/her? Therein lies the irony that the greater the amount of emotions you have for this person is the same amount of frustration and disappointment you’ll get back if unrequited.

But which is worse? Knowing that the person you love doesn’t love you back, or knowing you love each other but for some strange reasons, couldn’t be together? Now that is another sad, sad thing. Who’s to say if you’re really better off as friends, huh? If you do enjoy each other’s company, find yourselves amused at how much in common you have, and have fits of seemingly endless conversations, then what’s stopping you from taking the notch higher? Is it because you’re unsure of your feelings? But feelings change so fast, dammit! It will never be a solid basis for anything. I mean, sure, you have to consider what you feel for this person, but I’m sure as there is heaven and hell that it will change. What then should you consider?

I admit, that not all questions have logical answers. Science may have to work on finding plausible explanations for everyday phenomena like wishing on stars, or raising a child, or falling in love. For now though, we have to content ourseleves with our own accountability for the decisions we will take and make. And for this reason, we should not take too much time making up our minds whether to take the risk or not. Change and time are accomplices in making your life one hell of a ride. Winning isn’t everything it seems to be. Every experience is a lesson waiting to be learned.

Go ahead, just love.

the truth is out there.

but it is also in me.

how could it be?

you are there and not with me.

will i ever find out?

will you dare to know?

every little thing i’m trying not to show.

is there a way out?

did i ever let you in?

this whole thing’s a mess.

it ain’t no way to impress.

i need you to want me.

do you want me to need you?

there’s no need to answer.

just be here forever.

can’t stop myself from smiling.

is it all too revealing?

and the world is my reality.

and reality is you.

you make me spin.

you make me laugh.

you make everything seem so new.

oh but i’m afraid.

because if this is all true,

the truth often hurts.

and i don’t want to be blue.

so what is it with you?

that makes me want to risk it all?

save me from this inanity.

with or without you,

i’m going to fall.