whatever

People say that I’m difficult to read. Probably because I’m not a book. =) And so I came up with a list of my peculiarities in the hopes of enlightening others about who I am and why I am the way I am.  It seems I am an exacting and demanding person..that’s for you to find out for yourself.

1. I believe that I have the gift of being articulate. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
2. Do not be misled by my seeming apathy.  I, too, get flushed and giddy if there is really something going on.
3. I try to be careful not to give false hopes. I know how hard it is to wait and hope for nothing.
4. I am not into rushing things. I take my time in getting to know a person to avoid being judgmental and jump into the wrong conclusions.
5. I do not read people’s minds so I prefer an honest and open communication.
6. I appreciate every little thing that accounts for thoughtfulness although I don’t show it all too well. You’ll be surprised that I can get really nice and sweet, in time.
7. I hate pretenses and lies. I can be candid and upfront when called for. I do not hesitate to speak my mind. I value truth above all things.
8. In as much as I disprove of courtship, I prefer to be visited at home than go out on dates most of the time.
9. I am uncomfortable with public displays of affection. I do not let my dates hold my hand unless absolutely necessary or it is called for as courtesy. I don’t kiss on dates either.
10. I could be as dense as a swampy river.  I will deliberately refuse to assume anything unless stated explicitly AND manifested obviously.
11. I insist on going dutch, especially if it is the third date. Otherwise, I insist that the next time will be my treat.
12. I dislike receiving gifts for no occasion.  I feel I am being bribed to like the giver back.
13. I could be as proud as I can be, but I do admit my faults and apologize, if necessary.
14. I value personal time and space. I feel burdened if there is an expectation to update, much more, see each other all the time.
15. I am an advocate of justice and peace. I want things to be fair (although I have accepted that life isn’t always fair) and am very open to deliberate reasoning and discussions.

I am in favor of steady dating. After all, it is merely going out on social engagements with a particular person.  It is a great way of getting to know another person better — you find out similarities, common interests, discover each other’s values and belief systems.  But to equate dating with courting is a big mistake! Sure you go out on dates while you are in the season of courtship, but it does not always follow that courtship would follow dating.

I never liked courtship. To court somebody is to woo that person, or gently persuade that person to like you back — at least as much as you like them.  And to be able to do this, you tend to present only your better, if not your best self. How else will you win tha favor of the "beloved" but by going out of your way to be as charming and as interesting as you can be!  But sadly, you can only do as much and this is a tiring task indeed!  You could run out of resources and energy, that is why you tend to rush things and become impatient when things take a longer time than expected.

What I propose (and wish to happen for myself), is to go out and meet people to gain new friends.  After all, they say that the best relationships start from friendships.  If you become friends with another, you don’t pretend to be someone else, or have that nagging fear that you might be rejected when you get tired of being your better self and start being yourself.  And as friends, you can still go out on dates — have dinner, go for a walk, see a movie.  These things help you get to know each other better, hopefully, minus the romantic expectations. And if something else happens along the way, pray over it before deciding to discover if there is something more worth exploring than what you already have.  you don’t become friends with someone after going out on a couple of days, or after a series of exchanging phone calls, sms and emails.  It takes a lifetime to get to know a person — but only through a relatively and considerable amount of time spent with each other, you can become friends with that person.  Don’t rush into that giddy feeling of romance and infatuation.  If the love you share is enough to carry you through a lifelong commitment with each other, it will happen in time.  Meanwhile, enjoy the friendship and be content with the love friends have for each other.  It is still worth keeping.

So pardon me, Mr. Harris, I refuse to kiss dating goodbye.  I would like to enjoy the company of my friends in mutually interesting activities also known as dates.  But I do save my kisses and never kiss on dates.

lazy afternoons..

cuddled softly in your arms

as leaves gently fall.

~~~~~~~~~~

a gush of cool breeze

sends shivers to my bare skin –

so much like your kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~

promise of daybreak:

lost memories of today

tomorrow’s waiting.