whatever

Can a boy and a girl be ‘just friends’? This has been bothering me for quite sometime now.  And despite the research, studies, and numerous surveys I have conducted, I still haven’t found the answer.

Sure, there would be a number of you who could attest that you are just friends..and for a number of years, at that. Yet, I would like to argue about the intimacy you have shared.  How ‘close’ are you? I am talking about "close friends" here. Not buddies, nor "best friends" that you actually only get to see or spend time with once every so often. And how can you really tell?

Isn’t it that, at some point, one falls for the other? Sometimes, even both. Although, it may not necessarily happen at the same time. It’s the almost perfect set-up: you get along well, spend a considerable time with each other exclusively and seem to share a lot in common. Does it end there? You decide.

You could decide that your friendship is way better than a romantic relationship and stay at that. Despite the nagging feelings, despite the countless ‘what if’s’..you ignore..repress these thoughts that could jeopardize a seemingly ‘perfect’ relationship. What if things don’t work out either? You might lose everything just by taking the risk of taking one step further..in the romantic relationship department.

Or then again, you could decide to entertain these thoughts and give yourself a chance. They say, the best relationships start out as friendships. So what makes yours an exception? You practically grew up together, shared both good and bad times, been there for each other. Who knows, you might be "made for each other"?.

So the question still remains unanswered. Are you just friends? I say, it’s all up to you.

Since I just turned 27..today, my parents are celebrating their 28th wedding anniversary.  Their marriage is not exactly perfect — and I guess, nothing could ever really be perfect.  But I have witnessed a love that evolves from time to time into something different.  I couldn’t say it gets better, but it isn’t for the worse either.

Weddings are great — the celebration and festivities..but marriage is far more different.  I had my share of planning for a wedding..and it’s really ironic. You get to be both happy and excited, yet nervous and stressed out at the same time. I can’t say I am glad it didn’t push through — but it would be a lie to say I didn’t welcome the relief it brought, when plans went to a halt.

In one of our brainstorming sessions..where I was the reluctant moderator — there was one point where I pointed out that asking for student’s plans is different from asking how committed are they to carry out their plans.  And in line with the subject..perhaps, this is where the line is drawn.  You plan weddings but you commit to marry. And this commitment is sealed not just with a kiss, but with a vow, with God as witness, to see this partnership through, no matter what.

And so, when you love, the ultimate goal would be a lifetime partnership with this person. And the next time, if I would again be asked for marriage, I would pray for a love that could keep a commitment, despite the tough trying times.

To all who got married, or are planning to marry — best wishes, congratulations and keep your promises.

So this is how it’s supposed to be

This is what I get after waiting patiently

The universe connived with love and destiny

Making all illusions now realities.

I was about to lose hope,

Tired of the thought that you

had always been just there.

And, well, I seem to be stuck here.

And then suddenly, and oh so wonderfully

The chance passed, much like serendipity.

And for a moment, time stood still.

That is, until..

Although I have argued time and again that love is immeasurable, and therefore, is incomparable, I also know that subjectively, we do measure and compare.  And in doing so, we realize that there is someone who makes the cut above the rest — someone who ceases to be just a name and a face, who stands out from the crowd.

We all have met this person, at some point in our lives. This someone could be our greatest love..or sadly, our greatest regret.  This person will stubbornly persist despite our frantic efforts to push them away.  Suddenly, he/she isn’t just somebody..this someone becomes THE ONE.

And how do you know if he/she is THE ONE?  You can never compare unless you have had a basis of comparison.  So unless he/she hasn’t passed yet, perhaps it would be more difficult to assess who he/she is.  This could probably be the reason why we can’t seem to be satisfied with what we already have.  If THE ONE has passed, his/her presence lingers and haunts the present.  If you are currently with someone, there is this nagging doubt you sometimes feel — the question of whether whoever is with us right now is for keeps. Is he/she THE ONE? We can never tell for sure.

Who is THE ONE? I believe the answer lies in whether you decide to make someone be THE ONE.  A friend told me that if you truly choose to love someone, you must have the WILL to love this person no matter what because love transcends all barriers.  Once you will yourself to love that person, you will continue to love him/her despite losing the feeling, and having no clear reason.  What do they matter when your love is real?  Until that time comes, until you will to love somebody, you might never get to recognize THE ONE.

So if you have him/her now, keep and nurture this love.  If he/she has passed and let go, pray for discernment and learn.  But if you feel that THE ONE is yet to come, be patient and prepare yourself while waiting.  The universe conspires to help you fulfill your destiny.